


Reunited

by TessaKenway



Series: There isn't always a happy end [3]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 09:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4700264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaKenway/pseuds/TessaKenway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Mike's death, Harvey isn't the same anymore. But he keeps fighting, for his son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunited

Harvey always remembered the day when they died. It wasn't just Mike who stopped living at this day in the hospital, no it was Harvey too. Mike died right next to him and he didn't even say him that he loved him too. He felt like the biggest idiot in history. He had the best husband ever and he lost him without letting him know how he felt. Sure, Harvey wasn't a person who said how he felt. He never was and he probably never have been. Blame it on his childhood but it always felt wrong for him to say „I love you“ to someone. During their far too short marriage, Harvey told Mike several times how much he loves him and Mike smiled about it. He had no idea how serious Harvey was, how much these words meant. For Harvey they meant the world because he was barely able to feel this way but Mike made him feel this way. Mike never understood how serious Harvey was. Now it was too late. Mike was dead and Harvey was dead too. 

But other than Mike, he just was dead on the inside. He lost his partner, his lover and the best person he ever met. Nothing could ever change this. Everyday when he went to their bed, he had to think of Mike. He thought about the days they spended together, the nights when they kissed each other. All the happy memories of waken up next to Mike and seeing him sleeping. But also the bad things. How often he complained about Mike. Mike was the love of his life and he complained about things like who the blankets has. It was the day of the funeral that hurted him the most. Harvey sat alone in their bedroom right after it, his head in his hands. He didn't cry. Everyone else cried in such situations but he didn't. Because he wasn't sad. But he also wasn't angry or happy or anything else. He just was empty. There were no emotions back. When Mike closed his eyes for the last time, he took Harvey's emotions with him. The good and the bad ones, Harvey didn't feel anything at all. Nothing. All of his emotions were gone. Everyone spoke about it, the most say that he was brave and strong. They told him how wonderful it was that he acted strong for Gabe. 

The little version of his husband, who reminded him everyday of the man he lost. Gabe, who smiled like his father, spoke like his father and was like his father. It was too much for Harvey but he kept fighting. For Gabe. Just for Gabe. For what he promised Mike. If Gabe wouldn’t have existed, he probably would have had killed himself right after Mike's death. But he stayed alive. At least on the outside. On the inside were nothing. He worked, he laughed and he played with Gabe without anyone noticed how bad he really felt. The long sleeves of his shirts covered his wrists, something that would have showed them how wrong everything was. They didn't know that Harvey, right after he put Gabe to bed, sat alone in the living-room of the flat. 

They had no clue that Harvey always took one of the biggest knives and just cut. Everyday. Exactly four cuts, never more or less. Every cut stood for a word he should have said to Mike. Mike, I love you. The words he didn't say to him and he felt the pain again. Every single day. Because even when he was empty inside he didn't want to forget how he screwed it up. Harvey blamed it on himself, like he always did. He never showed someone his scars, it would have been a sign of weakness and he couldn't be weak, not in his position. And so he just kept doing, kept going through the motions. He watched how Gabe grew up, helped him with his homework and everything. And every evening he cut, the same four cuts at the exact same place. Harvey didn't date anyone ever again, he couldn't fall in love again. Mike's death left such a big hole inside his heart that no one could ever fill it. Nothing could fill it. Not the scotch he drank secretly, not the cases he won. 

But on the outside he smiled. He even helped Gabe with his first girlfriend, gave him tips how he could win her heart. Harvey was the one, who heard the happiness in his sons voice, when he spoke about his first love. And Harvey told it Mike. Every Sunday he went to the grave of his husband and spoke with Mike. He never said much, just a bit about Gabe's life and how great Gabe became. But Harvey never spoke about was he felt. Never. It felt wrong to speak about himself when Mike was the one who was dead. He also never stayed long, he couldn't stand to look at the gravestone, not when it read: Micheal Specter-Ross. He had the love of his life and he lost him. The day Mike died, Harvey died too. 

The years passed by, Gabe went to Harvard, he wanted to become a lawyer just like his dads. The apartment was quiet when Gabe moved out and Harvey was alone, completely alone. And he couldn't stand it. It was worse than when Gabe was with him because now he thought about Mike more often. But he was like his apartment, empty. Gabe got the message in his second year in Harvard and he wasn't surprised about it, not at all. In fact he couldn't be more proud of his father, who made it so long just for him. But even when Gabe was sad about what his father did, he understood it. And he knew that his father was at a better place, finally reunited with the love of his life. In heaven, where Mik already waited for Harvey.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me so long to write this, I am sorry!!


End file.
